There’s this guy that’s in love with my best friend and I spent the entire night last night talking to him and trying to help him and convince him not to kill himself. It was so stupid because he hardly even knows her and I know the “love” he has for her is only lust after her looks. But I tried to help him anyway. I spent a long time last night trying.

Then today he comes to school and starts being an asshole and I told him to just be a man about it and he was like “YOU be a man, you obviously can’t get one so you might as well be both.” And OUCH. That seriously stabbed right through me. Like I had to just walk away because I felt like crying, it was ridiculous. 

I spent hours trying to help you and you repay me by insulting me with something like that? Especially when you know I’m really insecure. Thanks, asshole.

Sometimes I’m worried that I have no feelings
That I wouldn’t even know it if my heart was breaking
I act as though I’m confident, but am I faking?
I act as though I’m strong but my legs are shaking

What would I do without you in my life?

Now according to a study I am narcissistic
And at times this kind of thinking has a basis
But please, don’t get me out to be an egomaniac
You know, at times it makes me feel like crap
That’s when you are the one, you can make me feel better
Convince me I’m not a loser and that you like my sweater

What would I do without you in my life?

Now don’t you wish that I had more opinions?
That I was better at making decisions?
I’m a good example of a fool
I’m fine, fine, fine, but I’m always overloaded
I hate to inconvenience anyone that’s nice
So instead I sacrifice myself
That’s when you are the one who can make me feel better
Convince me I’m not a loser but a positive go-getter

What would I do without you in my life?
I hope we die at the same time so I don’t have to find out
What it feels like to be alive if you weren’t alive

I just want to do lots of drugs and fall into a pit and give up on everything.

staystronghavehope:

Fighting with myself, all the time. No matter what. No matter when. Always.

Stay alive. Kill yourself. You need to eat. Starve yourself, fat ass. Keep it down. Go throw up, bitch. You’re beautiful. Ew, is that me? Distract yourself. Go find your blade. Respect yourself. Go slut around. Smoking’s gross. I need a drag. Drugs are stupid. Where’s some weed? You’re done with that. Got booze?

All the fucking time. I’m a walking contradiction. Why must I fight with myself over everything?

me every fucking day.

(via dont-associate-with-this-kid)

These are the nights I can’t handle being alone.

You can’t wrap your words around someone or kiss them with your thoughts.

I need touch.

I want to mean something to someone

I want someone to kiss me on the cheek and tell me I’m the only one they want

I want someone to look me in the eyes and say something corny, not because it’s corny, but because they mean it

I want someone to love me and tell me I’m beautiful even if I don’t feel like it

I want someone to fill this void

because I feel so lonely

And it aches.

Anonymous asked: you always make like your problems and nonexistent and don't matter. why?

I find myself to be very insignificant.

Just please don’t leave me side, 
Oh how I’d die to make you mine. 

There’s really…..no one I can be myself around anymore. I feel like I’m drowning here. Suffocating. I need to get out.